Relations

My life is strange...

I am strangely happy and it is mainly because I am alone and can do whatever the hell I want to do anytime. No restrictions. Other than what is physically possible. This finds me delving deeper and deeper into Lawrence Gardner of all writers. I think that paradise man would be combining the knowledge of Gardner with the mating knowledge of Strauss and the decadent bohemianism of Beardsley. Women would nod their consent via their outward displays of affection as opposed to their later feelings of guilt. Well, that's my opinion for what it's worth...and yeah it's worth a lot. A few million at least. So cough up. I've patented the idea.

A year since my last real relationship. Most people would think the reason why I am not in a relationship at the moment is that I am some kind of social retard or loser, which is quite true, but not the real reason. The real reason is that I haven't been motivated enough to want one. There has been no one within easy reach who I would benefit from being with. No one who has been amazingly intelligent and funny or amazingly pretty and easy going. Just a lot of average zeroes. When you weigh it up, what with my libido being pretty non-existent recently, I've found more sustenance from thinking about the whole ORMES experiments. What a fucking geek. Yeah, cos modern life makes thought an embarrassment. Everything is just action, surface, stupidity and F-U-N. To make a category of person EMO really makes me laugh. EMO for emotional. Pathetic. What will be the next fake sales distinction? The Trapped? The Alienated? The supremely bored? The inane cretin? Well, actually I think those categories have probably all been used thoroughly.

So I have spent a whole year just flirting with people, getting occasional bad lays, and feeling out-of-joint when someone calls me to meet up with them. The problem I have is that there seems to be no magic to anything anymore. Everything is just so damn clinical. Everyone is just so damn manipulated and manipulating. And the average imbecile, be it man or woman, thinks of themselves as so much more than what they are and has this gleeful preoccupation with disregarding reality in exchange for junk food for the brain. Case in point: accepting the words of Simon Cowell as truth in regards to music. Very strange. What has he ever done to warrant this? Made a lot of money? Well, why not ask Sir Alan Sugar or even Bill Gates to choose who has the best musical talent then if that is the case? They've made more money than Cowell? All Cowell has ever produced is a fucking Mr Blobby record. Hardly a connoisseur of talent. More a celebrity of mediocrity.

Therefore, I am going to take steps to try to meet people I consider interesting. And instead of just letting them walk out of my life I will let them in. It's a service I could happily offer for the right price. You interest me and I will slowly initiate you into the true way. Ha ha ha. Step right up for the latest religion...