Isolation is a painful experience.
Yet it has been my entire life. No matter how hard I try no one wants to know. It would be more heartbreaking if there was someone who could even comprehend it. But there isn't so it's not. So fuck off and die you useless old piece of cunt.
I've reached a new zenith of boredom. Beyond the predictable boredom of My Name is Earl and other such tripe. It's called listening to people you have nothing in common with. A very uninteresting trawl through the crassness and smallness of other people's worthless ennuis.
I have a boyfriend or I have a girlfriend or I have a wife or I have a husband. Phrases that are completely meaningless even in terms of the law.
I lose sorely when it comes to convincing anyone of having any kind of attraction towards me. And vice versa in the majority of cases. Mainly because I am so in love with myself that I can't let other people soil me. They make me sick. Seriously. Due to their inanity. It could be overhearing them talk about fucking Elton John, or some bullshit from their working life, and that's it. They are out of my consciousness bubble and can join the pointless realm of the cretin. Most people mate for appearances. I don't. And my relationships never seem to last. My boredom threshold is very low. I enjoy being a complete bastard to people after even a few minutes of 'knowing them'. I can't help myself. I want to destroy everything about them and make them again in my own image. What a god-case wannabe.
Yes. Kiss my cheek.
Suck my cock.
Turn interesting on your way back.
Thursday, 4 October 2007
Saturday, 22 September 2007
Prince Narcissist
What a beautiful day!
Ha! Watching Debbie Harry singing Maria and some old footage of her on You Tube. My god! I was born in the wrong era. If I had been around in the punk era I would have gone straight over to New York and hooked up with her. She could have fed me strawberries and cream whilst I lounged around showing people magic tricks.
I have to finally admit that I have a personality best suited for rock stardom. I can't look after myself really. Plus I'm so narcissistic and egocentric that I think everything revolves around me. It's a strangely sweet form of solipsism. And I like to do things with my voice and guitar on record that most people wouldn't dare in a million years. So gather round my little syphilitic sycophants. I need your love and approval. Even stupid things like washing up and cooking my own food always seems to end up in chaos cos I just can't get my brain round to thinking in that particular dull manner. Fantasy is far more intriguing to me. What a sucker.
Tunes and anti-tunes get me going. That part on Maria when she first goes to the chorus and smiles that sly little smile. Oh god. It's better than most of the sex I've ever had.
Also, I can't stand to do the whole normal 'dating' thing. So dreary. I like to flirt and take the piss. The only way I can get through the day. Otherwise... well let's just say that Dunblane and Oklahoma would have nothing on me.
So fund me, fuck me, fun me. I am the real deal. Narcissistic and so shallow. Ha ha ha.
Ha! Watching Debbie Harry singing Maria and some old footage of her on You Tube. My god! I was born in the wrong era. If I had been around in the punk era I would have gone straight over to New York and hooked up with her. She could have fed me strawberries and cream whilst I lounged around showing people magic tricks.
I have to finally admit that I have a personality best suited for rock stardom. I can't look after myself really. Plus I'm so narcissistic and egocentric that I think everything revolves around me. It's a strangely sweet form of solipsism. And I like to do things with my voice and guitar on record that most people wouldn't dare in a million years. So gather round my little syphilitic sycophants. I need your love and approval. Even stupid things like washing up and cooking my own food always seems to end up in chaos cos I just can't get my brain round to thinking in that particular dull manner. Fantasy is far more intriguing to me. What a sucker.
Tunes and anti-tunes get me going. That part on Maria when she first goes to the chorus and smiles that sly little smile. Oh god. It's better than most of the sex I've ever had.
Also, I can't stand to do the whole normal 'dating' thing. So dreary. I like to flirt and take the piss. The only way I can get through the day. Otherwise... well let's just say that Dunblane and Oklahoma would have nothing on me.
So fund me, fuck me, fun me. I am the real deal. Narcissistic and so shallow. Ha ha ha.
Wednesday, 19 September 2007
Relations
My life is strange...
I am strangely happy and it is mainly because I am alone and can do whatever the hell I want to do anytime. No restrictions. Other than what is physically possible. This finds me delving deeper and deeper into Lawrence Gardner of all writers. I think that paradise man would be combining the knowledge of Gardner with the mating knowledge of Strauss and the decadent bohemianism of Beardsley. Women would nod their consent via their outward displays of affection as opposed to their later feelings of guilt. Well, that's my opinion for what it's worth...and yeah it's worth a lot. A few million at least. So cough up. I've patented the idea.
A year since my last real relationship. Most people would think the reason why I am not in a relationship at the moment is that I am some kind of social retard or loser, which is quite true, but not the real reason. The real reason is that I haven't been motivated enough to want one. There has been no one within easy reach who I would benefit from being with. No one who has been amazingly intelligent and funny or amazingly pretty and easy going. Just a lot of average zeroes. When you weigh it up, what with my libido being pretty non-existent recently, I've found more sustenance from thinking about the whole ORMES experiments. What a fucking geek. Yeah, cos modern life makes thought an embarrassment. Everything is just action, surface, stupidity and F-U-N. To make a category of person EMO really makes me laugh. EMO for emotional. Pathetic. What will be the next fake sales distinction? The Trapped? The Alienated? The supremely bored? The inane cretin? Well, actually I think those categories have probably all been used thoroughly.
So I have spent a whole year just flirting with people, getting occasional bad lays, and feeling out-of-joint when someone calls me to meet up with them. The problem I have is that there seems to be no magic to anything anymore. Everything is just so damn clinical. Everyone is just so damn manipulated and manipulating. And the average imbecile, be it man or woman, thinks of themselves as so much more than what they are and has this gleeful preoccupation with disregarding reality in exchange for junk food for the brain. Case in point: accepting the words of Simon Cowell as truth in regards to music. Very strange. What has he ever done to warrant this? Made a lot of money? Well, why not ask Sir Alan Sugar or even Bill Gates to choose who has the best musical talent then if that is the case? They've made more money than Cowell? All Cowell has ever produced is a fucking Mr Blobby record. Hardly a connoisseur of talent. More a celebrity of mediocrity.
Therefore, I am going to take steps to try to meet people I consider interesting. And instead of just letting them walk out of my life I will let them in. It's a service I could happily offer for the right price. You interest me and I will slowly initiate you into the true way. Ha ha ha. Step right up for the latest religion...
I am strangely happy and it is mainly because I am alone and can do whatever the hell I want to do anytime. No restrictions. Other than what is physically possible. This finds me delving deeper and deeper into Lawrence Gardner of all writers. I think that paradise man would be combining the knowledge of Gardner with the mating knowledge of Strauss and the decadent bohemianism of Beardsley. Women would nod their consent via their outward displays of affection as opposed to their later feelings of guilt. Well, that's my opinion for what it's worth...and yeah it's worth a lot. A few million at least. So cough up. I've patented the idea.
A year since my last real relationship. Most people would think the reason why I am not in a relationship at the moment is that I am some kind of social retard or loser, which is quite true, but not the real reason. The real reason is that I haven't been motivated enough to want one. There has been no one within easy reach who I would benefit from being with. No one who has been amazingly intelligent and funny or amazingly pretty and easy going. Just a lot of average zeroes. When you weigh it up, what with my libido being pretty non-existent recently, I've found more sustenance from thinking about the whole ORMES experiments. What a fucking geek. Yeah, cos modern life makes thought an embarrassment. Everything is just action, surface, stupidity and F-U-N. To make a category of person EMO really makes me laugh. EMO for emotional. Pathetic. What will be the next fake sales distinction? The Trapped? The Alienated? The supremely bored? The inane cretin? Well, actually I think those categories have probably all been used thoroughly.
So I have spent a whole year just flirting with people, getting occasional bad lays, and feeling out-of-joint when someone calls me to meet up with them. The problem I have is that there seems to be no magic to anything anymore. Everything is just so damn clinical. Everyone is just so damn manipulated and manipulating. And the average imbecile, be it man or woman, thinks of themselves as so much more than what they are and has this gleeful preoccupation with disregarding reality in exchange for junk food for the brain. Case in point: accepting the words of Simon Cowell as truth in regards to music. Very strange. What has he ever done to warrant this? Made a lot of money? Well, why not ask Sir Alan Sugar or even Bill Gates to choose who has the best musical talent then if that is the case? They've made more money than Cowell? All Cowell has ever produced is a fucking Mr Blobby record. Hardly a connoisseur of talent. More a celebrity of mediocrity.
Therefore, I am going to take steps to try to meet people I consider interesting. And instead of just letting them walk out of my life I will let them in. It's a service I could happily offer for the right price. You interest me and I will slowly initiate you into the true way. Ha ha ha. Step right up for the latest religion...
Grindhouse Deathproof Flatulence
Quentin Tarantino has done it again. Yes he's succeeded in making high-maintenance women appear even more nauseating and pathologically dull than they really are. Brain dead Americana once again.
It's a trend that every dumb cunt with no ideas of their own succumbs to. The whole world's a party, an illegal substance, a brainless oaf of a man, anti-excitement. All this is clearly apparent in the lowest common denominator or Grindhouse / Deathproof by Tarantino.
You can't be cool just by the way you look. It has to be worded into your soul. And none of his characters have any soul. By making the most important thing / taboo in the world as relationships renders the human race a complete cripple of an entity. Yet that is all that is pushed on every TV station, movie theatre etc etc over the whole shitty world. Mating rituals of the emotionally decrepit human. An extinction. Fucking fucking fucking. A sperm pool in a sack of shit.
Wouldn't it be interesting to discover that ancient civilisations had far more advanced technology than we have had for centuries? And that Genesis is just one documentary of The Shining Ones exploring Sumer in c. 4000 B.C. The One God myth proliferates though pointlessly. And the Christian fundamentalists take cheque after cheque, debit after debit of the First and Third World needy earnings. The poor are fleeced over and over again. The rich have idiot proof deception techniques to ensure the common herd remains docile and apathetic whilst their entire lives are reduced to a one inch box.
Beautiful.
Entertainment will make your blues go away.
The only reason people watch the film: Kurt Russell in his menopausal stage, Jordan Ladd combining the acting skills of a dead person and a frisbee, and Vanessa Ferlito's oversized collagen lips.
It's a trend that every dumb cunt with no ideas of their own succumbs to. The whole world's a party, an illegal substance, a brainless oaf of a man, anti-excitement. All this is clearly apparent in the lowest common denominator or Grindhouse / Deathproof by Tarantino.
You can't be cool just by the way you look. It has to be worded into your soul. And none of his characters have any soul. By making the most important thing / taboo in the world as relationships renders the human race a complete cripple of an entity. Yet that is all that is pushed on every TV station, movie theatre etc etc over the whole shitty world. Mating rituals of the emotionally decrepit human. An extinction. Fucking fucking fucking. A sperm pool in a sack of shit.
Wouldn't it be interesting to discover that ancient civilisations had far more advanced technology than we have had for centuries? And that Genesis is just one documentary of The Shining Ones exploring Sumer in c. 4000 B.C. The One God myth proliferates though pointlessly. And the Christian fundamentalists take cheque after cheque, debit after debit of the First and Third World needy earnings. The poor are fleeced over and over again. The rich have idiot proof deception techniques to ensure the common herd remains docile and apathetic whilst their entire lives are reduced to a one inch box.
Beautiful.
Entertainment will make your blues go away.
The only reason people watch the film: Kurt Russell in his menopausal stage, Jordan Ladd combining the acting skills of a dead person and a frisbee, and Vanessa Ferlito's oversized collagen lips.
Tuesday, 11 September 2007
The death of efx2
It's horrible...
Everything died at efx2 blogs and I'm in this strange wilderness. People came and went but it was kind of interesting to find out what people did with their time. Now there is no possibility of speech from any side of the fucking wall. I hope that maybe I could find one particular person from there and I'm scared that she's gone forever. Isn't that terrible! One of the only people that I could telepath with. Nooooooo!!!!
Anyway Darla if you are still there in this strange aether then, well, you know. You are the coolest undine of all time and I would prefer not to feel this fracture.
Well, that's all I can really say at the moment. I'm feeling all out of touch with the human race. No one here for me and it's lonely and cold. And well, I don't have anything else to share right now...
Everything died at efx2 blogs and I'm in this strange wilderness. People came and went but it was kind of interesting to find out what people did with their time. Now there is no possibility of speech from any side of the fucking wall. I hope that maybe I could find one particular person from there and I'm scared that she's gone forever. Isn't that terrible! One of the only people that I could telepath with. Nooooooo!!!!
Anyway Darla if you are still there in this strange aether then, well, you know. You are the coolest undine of all time and I would prefer not to feel this fracture.
Well, that's all I can really say at the moment. I'm feeling all out of touch with the human race. No one here for me and it's lonely and cold. And well, I don't have anything else to share right now...
Sunday, 9 September 2007
An entrance of kinds...
Bleaching my skin, tanning my hair.
Everything tastes familiar when I am not there.
This is the first blog entry. Just a tester. A taster. See what there is around here. If anything. An introduction is not necessary just a random assortment of words. Stroke your pot belly adolescence and commute into this life.
There will be observations, despairs, hilarities, insults, degradations, anorexic witterings, laughters, irritations, mood swings and a general sense of imbecile alienation. Emotional outpourings. All of the things that you love to discard.
Treat this like acidic contempt for mass suicide culling of humanity.
Obsolescence is never as pretty as this my sexually repressed dearies. My humanity repressed dearies. Bring an ice pick and deformed workers state.
Stay tuned.
Everything tastes familiar when I am not there.
This is the first blog entry. Just a tester. A taster. See what there is around here. If anything. An introduction is not necessary just a random assortment of words. Stroke your pot belly adolescence and commute into this life.
There will be observations, despairs, hilarities, insults, degradations, anorexic witterings, laughters, irritations, mood swings and a general sense of imbecile alienation. Emotional outpourings. All of the things that you love to discard.
Treat this like acidic contempt for mass suicide culling of humanity.
Obsolescence is never as pretty as this my sexually repressed dearies. My humanity repressed dearies. Bring an ice pick and deformed workers state.
Stay tuned.
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